Insecurities

Insecurities are probably just a given with the artistic life. It’s hard not to take it personally when you poor hours and sweat into a piece just to have someone hate it. Β And even though you know a lot of times, its just a preferences it’s hard to carry on.

And that’s where I find myself sitting, on the cliff of fear and insecurity.

insecrutitiesΒ I have one project done, an anthology of plays. I just have to add my author’s bio and click publish on the nook press. But I linger. Realistically, I don’t expect it to be a best seller. But, as all of these plays have been produced, my main goal is just to get it out into the world and move on….still what if NO ONE buys it. My doubts are demons dancing in my brain.

Speaking of plays, my play, “The Wall,” is available for download (free) from Independent Playwrights.

Also, I’m shortly going to be opening an esty shop. I’m a writer that paints with too many painting for my home anymore and a crafter. It’s time to downsize. And maybe spread my view of the world to others.

And lastly, I’m pairing with a local artist to create a comic book. Details will follow including a Kickstarter campaign. It’s a slow process which I’m not used to and scary but I think the process will be worth it.

As you can see, lot’s going on that puts me into the world and opens me up to rejection. I suppose in the end I’ll just have to suck it up and put my big girl pants on. And if I do face utter rejection, well its the air artists breathe.

 

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28 comments on “Insecurities

  1. You’re right, it’s what all artists fear. Fear’s a hell of a motivator, though. πŸ˜‰
    When I get into a mode of dwelling on insecurities I remind myself two things: one, a person’s opinion of me is none of my business; if she’s expressing it, it’s a reflection on her, not me. And two, it’s easy to brace for rejection; be original, and brace for ACCEPTANCE.

  2. Rejection in the digital age is more pronounced. Back in the day, you sent out your manuscript and waited. Rejection letters came in. You cried in the comfort and privacy of your own home. Now we put so much of our journey out in public that failure is there for all to see. But as a wise person once said, “You only fail when you stop trying,”

    I have not had the means to market my book beyond my little sphere of influence but I published. On to book 2. You sound like you keep plugging along too. Just keep trying and your life will be a success to those who are inspired by your perseverance. Plus, when you do make it big, the story of your life will make a great movie. πŸ™‚

  3. I’ve had hundreds of good comments on a book at a writers’s site, but it’ the negative ones that stay in the mind the longest. Not everyone will like or appreciate a work no matter how good it is. One of my favourite books, ‘The Particular Sadness of Lemon Cake” by Aimee Bender has a lot of one star reviews, as well as a lot of five star reviews.

    At some point the best thing to do is publish and move on, and let the queued up creativity that is in you flow out and into new areas.

    Right, I’m off to download your play :).

  4. I’ve always been taught that the more rejections and bad press you get, the happier you should be – simply because you’re actually making the effort to get your name out there, which is more than can be said for those who don’t try. If you send out a novel and get a dozen rejection letters, you should still be proud that you actually sent it off and someone has actually looked at it, because sending it off would have been a big step in itself. Publish your plays and that’s one hell of an accomplishment, no matter what the reaction to them is!

    Of course, I’ve had no good nor bad press as I haven’t published anything, so I’ll probably eat those words. I’ll probably fear rejection as much as you do when it gets to it.

    But good luck, and take anything that’s thrown at you in your stride; as long as what you’re doing makes you happy, then it doesn’t matter if others don’t like it πŸ™‚

  5. I hear you. I think that’s why I haven’t finished editing my novel. Afraid no one is going to like it. I keep trying to convince myself as long as I like and I accomplish it, that is what matters. Stay positive and it will happen. πŸ™‚

  6. I’ve always thought there was some truth in saying that hate is as valid a reaction to art as love. Art, whether it’s a book, a melody, or a painting should stir emotion. Criticism is just the result of doing the job well.

    (Or I’m delusional and this is just nonsense.)

  7. This may sound trite, but don’t write, or paint, or compose so someone else will like it and maybe buy it. Write for the pleasure and satisfaction it gives you. Then if someone likes it, and maybe even buys it, that is just the icing on the cake of the joy you creation has given you. In line with that, thank you so much for liking my post, “River Congo – Excerpt 27” on writingiam.wordpress.com. – Thanks again and Aloha – pjs.

  8. Put your work out there and move on. I receive so gratified when folks read my blog “freebees” without worrying how slow my ebook sales on Amazon or Barnes and Noble are doing. Besides… who knows– you may have a hit that will emerge later on. Have a wonderful day.

  9. The more haters you have, it just means the more jealous people are of your talents. The more you do, the more you create, that’s what counts. You are an artist who wants to add beauty, insight, value, and truth to the world. I hope your feelings of insecurity are few and far between, because the truth is, you get props and much respect for your hard work and talent. FINALLY: Thanks for letting us see your play for free! But in my opinion, it’s worth AT LEAST 50 bucks. So, let me know how I can pay, and I will (no joke) send you 50 bucks for a hard copy, if you sign it for me. Best, Danny

  10. I can relate to this very strongly. One thing to keep in mind is that most people do not care about art. Well and truly, if they had a pocketful of fucks to give not one-quarter of a fuck would be given from most. Art is the equivalent of mere entertainment and, as such, its value has been diminished greatly -just look at iTunes.

    For my part, I’ve decided to opt-out of the traditional way of doing things in order to keep my self-respect and, I think, the better part of my sanity. The most important thing for those in the front office is what will sell, the most important thing for those in the ‘audience’ is whether or not they are entertained. The artist and the real audience, not just the people who merely show up or stumble across it, are the only people who will truly appreciate the work and that is what is so overwhelmingly lacking: appreciation.

  11. “And if I do face utter rejection, well its the air artists breathe.”

    Well said. Rejection is a rancor all artists must face, despite their medium or ethos. The most important aspect of creation is to do it from a place of honesty, without regard to the opinions or acceptance the viewer. Honesty gives the work value in and of itself.

    I don’t know if you’re familiar with the artist Paul McCarthy, but for decades his work was completely ignored or rejected by the artistic community and now he is one of the most celebrated contemporary artists in the world. He made art simply to make it, because that’s just what he found himself doing when he went home at night, not to gain any kind of prestige or acceptance.

    That’s what I really strive for as a writer, a complete lack of self-consciousness, an unadulterated narrative of the human experience as I see it. But that’s much easier said than done. Reach out with your work and let it touch people. If it’s real and honest it will affect them, whether they let you know it or not.

  12. I recently wrote a rejected play, which happened to be one of the highlights of last year, mainly because I was proud of myself for putting together a whole script within three days, as I decided after a week that my original idea was awful. It was also the first script I wrote for something that wasn’t a school project. I still love what I wrote, and now I have an opportunity to make that piece of work better.

    I think it’s amazing that you have gotten plays produced! Good luck to you with everything you’re pursuing. It’s a fantastic thing that your trying to get your work noticed more and manage to work on other projects.

  13. If one never tests what failure is how will one will be mad with ‘Happiness, All the very Best with all Creative pursuits. In the end be always hopeful, every artist will get the share of space in the world! πŸ™‚

  14. this! so much this. insecurity is the thing that held me back from writing and from starting my own blog for so long. i can chalk up a lot of the best things in my life to “being brave” moments πŸ™‚

  15. All these comments are encouraging, I was getting caught up in finishing my three stories until one day, I said to myself, success has no time frame. Thanks to your story and the fellow bloggers no matter what, as long as I finish that’s all that matters. I accept me first.

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