Surviving the writer…..

tips on how to date a writer
Artists in general are a different breed. I came across this list, and I thought it had some great points!

Honestly, I don’t agree with all of the points.  I try to avoid writing about people I know, though occasionally, they do inspire me. And I have never at a party riffled through other people’s things, personally, I think that’s just an invasion of privacy.

But the others, I felt were head on.

Especially number 10.  I have in the past dated people and been friends with people who didn’t understand how crushing a rejection letter can be.  When you are already reeling from a rejection that logically you know shouldn’t be personal, but emotionally is, the worst thing you need is someone telling you to suck it up and that it isn’t a big deal.

I would add:

11) Don’t ask the writer how much money they have made off the work or when they are going to get a publisher.

What would you add?





49 comments on “Surviving the writer…..

  1. People that find out you are a writer and ask immediatly “So whats your book about?!?!” and then start glazing over the second the words “historical fiction” or “I’m not real sure which direction I’m taking it just yet” comes out of your mouth…. thats what really bothers me! 😦

  2. I have two: 1. Don’t put the book of my poems I gave you on a shelf without reading it.
    2. If I send you a poem by email and you don’t reply, I will assume you didn’t like it

  3. don’t look offended if during a conversation with a writer they turn and look at you with a raised eyebrow all it means is they want to go away to write and are waiting for you to notice

  4. Number 4 really hit home. I told my wife not to worry if I left my browser window open and she saw pages about serial killers and how to commit the perfect murder, she was perfectly safe.

  5. 12. Do not stomp off thinking the writer is ignoring you. When fingers are poised over the keyboard, the writer really did not hear you, not a word.
    Thanks for sharing the list, Racquel!

  6. 9. This list should also obviously include alcohol. Preferably a bottle of Islay single malt at least 15 years old. A decent red is also quite acceptable. Then there are the days when anything alcoholic will be taken with deep gratitude. For those who don’t use alcohol then some good coffee is also much appreciated.

  7. Don’t ask the writer why she’s doing this, implying that she’s wasting her time. Don’t offer to look over the writing and then weeks later say you didn’t have time to look at it. Don’t raise your eyes to the ceiling when the writer tells you how long she’s been working on her novel.
    Do tell her how much admiration you have for her courage and persistence.

  8. Love this list! 4,7 and 9 are so true.
    Similar to #3 – when I say an idea for a story / article / poem, don’t say “Oh I could try writing that too”. Although it could help motivate me to get on and write it myself…

  9. I’ve been asked; “Why don’t you just quit your job and write full time if that’s what you want to do?”

    Okay, I get it. I would have more time to invest in my books. My webseries would have multiple posts/week and I could also upload more free short stories for my readers.

    What most people don’t realize is that unless a writer is instantly recognized and their work is an overnight best seller, this isn’t likely to happen. Sales don’t always pour into my accounts and there may be days (or more?) where I don’t see a dime.

    The biggest issue for an indie writer is getting past obscurity. Just because we wrote a great book, doesn’t mean it’s going to instantly sell itself. We have to promote our work, not just by word of mouth, but by any means possible. Book signings, social marketing, beta readers, discount promotions, and anything else our imaginations can conceive of that will get people to look at our work and mutter something more than; “Hmm… Interesting.”

    I ‘could’ quit my job and write full time, but the simple fact is this; the act of writing alone doesn’t put the food on the table. I work because I need to be able to keep a roof over my family’s head, food in our bellies, heat, clothes, etc., etc.

    Most of the people I talk to about writing, who haven’t done it themselves, also don’t realize the costs that come with some of the promotions we do. We also need to have a significant amount of startup for gas, so that we can get out there and do our signings. We need to have several books on hand, which we pay for out of our own pocket, that we may or may not even sell. We might also want to have other things available to give away, such as business cards, book-marks, flyers, etc.. Also out of our own pocket.

    Writing is not a hobby, unless you’re well-to-do, that is. But in most cases, we’re people who are struggling. We’re struggling to get our work done. We’re struggling to get it known, and, we’re struggling to make it available to the public. We’re competing against hundreds of other authors locally and millions online/around the world.

    You might read our work and think it’s the greatest piece of literature you’ve ever laid your eyes upon, but if you don’t tell anybody about it, you’re going to be in a crowd of one. Just as we must promote, we also depend upon [the reader] to do the same. The one thing that a writer can’t do is leave a review for his/her own work, which is something they also depend upon to get their work out there. Think about it; do you go online and buy the product that only has one review, (or less), or do you go with a similar product that has several?

    Sometimes it’s frustrating being a writer, and sometimes, it feels like the path we’ve chosen is more daunting than what we first expected, but we keep doing what we are because we love it. It’s a fire inside of us that must be fed many words before it can be quenched. For some, it’s a few thousand, and for others; millions.

    We do what we have to do. Sometimes our work takes off like wildfire and sells millions of copies. Other times, we do our best to get to the surface in a sea of authors where the ones before and behind us are stepping on our shoulders.

    I’ve done very well selling books personally because I happen to be lucky enough to know a few readers and have done well with my signings. But I struggle online because of obscurity. Literally one in a million and I have to compete with every one. Until I can rise above the majority of them and thin out the ranks, I have to work to survive.

    (Sorry for the rant, but this is a tender subject.)

  10. Pingback: Surviving the writer….. | Weekendly Tips

  11. Never tell a writer, “I have a great book idea for you.” And if a writer has been working all day, understand that even when she’s with you physically, her mind is still in the story.
    P.S. Thanks for visiting by blog this week.

  12. Don’t ask, “When are you going to submit something for publication?” If I thought it was good enough for publication I would have submitted it.

    But don’t shy away from encouraging me to submit, either!

  13. Pingback: How to Date a Writer | Taking on a World of Words

  14. First of all, you are truly a writer’s writer! Secondly, you’re just awesome in general, and I love love love, times a million, your posts. Finally, I just wanted to remind you that the clock is winding down on the competition about why we have prisons — please share your thoughts, as the best reply wins a free copy of THE NEW JIM CROW. And so far, only one person has submitted an answer! I would hate to have a winner just by default lol. Anyways, feel free to contact me if you have any questions, Dan,, 203-430-5122

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